8 gooodbye to dreams

2012-01-21T02:42:00.000-08:00

I know I've been MIA in these past few days. A lot of things happened, a lot! I don't even know whether I'm happy or sad, but mostly sad, considered how a lot of my mates are going away, even Nad too (one of my close friends). But happy too as I'm having a week break from school and shit (homework are still included ugh just fuck off).

Plus, I really really really want to go to Jessie J's concert. Anyone? Pretty please?

Yours truly. x

Ps, anyone who's out there, you're beautiful.

phenomenons

2012-01-05T01:59:00.000-08:00

This is just too cute...

parachutes

2012-01-04T22:21:00.000-08:00

Day one at school was not that bad...

Minus the part where both of my feet got blisters of my new shoes and the day was really hot and I'm so freaking tired.

But good news, I'm in the same class as my best friend. I feel blessed.

Here goes another waste of another year because of school. Cheers.

happy and carefree

2012-01-03T01:44:00.000-08:00

Hello loves. I know I'm 2 days late, but happy new year!

So what if it's 2012? I'm alive and still kicking. Cheers for that!

You know those shit, 'new year, new me', well too bad, I'm kinda like that but I hide it pretty well. I have so many new year's resolutions... And the first one on my list is the exact words of this post's title - HAPPY AND CAREFREE. Yes, I hate being all fucking sick and tired and being sad and emo. It's keeping myself away from the world outside, as if, it wants me to just be on my bed and relive my stupid, boring, dull life. And today, I said those three little words, so little yet so meaningful, not exactly as in I love you, but as in love you too. And it felt...right? I don't know, I used to feel guilty for just thinking about it but now... I think I'm going to do some changes in me, for the better. In that moment, I was like, fuck this, it's freaking 2012, so why not.

Well...but yet, I feel bittersweet for leaving 2011... I am missing 2011 right now. If I were ever given the chance to relive those days, I would. I fucking would. I certainly maybe got a feeling that this year, 2012, is going to be good in a bad way yet bad in a good way. I hope you guys understand it because I don't quite understand it myself though...

Well. 2012, don't give me false hope, please.

Anyway, I'm turning 16 this year. I wish I live in UK so I won't be stuck in school anymore and then go attend to a college or something. But good news though, 2 more years and I'm done with school. Yay!

So back to 2012, I might going to use this two words on a daily basis from today...WHY NOT? And if I were asked to be on a stage, I'll be saying to myself - why not? If I had to go to a shop to get something for someone even though we just went there a few minutes ago, again - why not? Maybe, just maybe, I might be bumping into my future husband...Just maybe...

So 2012, why freaking not?

Yours truly. x

Ps, you are beautiful, each and every one of you.

Pss, I hope you guys had an amazing way to start 2012, unlike me, I was eating cakes...(don't judge me, even though dieting is in my list of this new year's resolution)

insecure

2011-12-31T04:08:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year's Eve! I am so not ready for 2012 but hell, fuck this shit. I'm going to live my life.

Good news, I'm still alive and still kicking. It felt so good to listen to One Direction's What Makes You Beautiful. Got my mojo back. Now that's what I'm talking about. I'll guess I'll post something about leaving 2011 and having 2012 instead, by tomorrow, which it's going to be 2012 already. Wow, I'm weird.

Yours truly. x

Ps, you are beautiful!

Pss, this is the last post for 2011. Aaaaaaaah. Till next time!

survey

2011-12-31T04:05:00.000-08:00

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
Peace Of Mind - Selah Sue
Call Me Up - Chromeo
Unattainable - Little Joy
You've Changed - Sia
Rebecca - Meg & Dia
Look At Me Now - Chris Brown

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
One Direction, please?

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
"So you thought you'd leave it until it was too late for me to say no? Well, you made a mistake."

4) What do you think about most?
One Direction and fiction...

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
"Aah".

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes?
With clothes.

7) What's your strangest talent?
...I can somewhat predict things that might happen in movies and shows...

8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)
Girls talk; Boys watch. Lol I don't know.

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
Unfortunately, never :-(

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
I can't quite remember...but I did played the air drum today though.

11) Do you have any strange phobias?
Not really.....

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
Never...

13) What's your religion?
Islam.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Listening to music.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Behind, would love to be a director.

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
Lots! But currently, I'm torn between One Direction and Bombay Bicycle Club.

17) What was the last lie you told?
I lie a lot...

18) Do you believe in karma?
I guess...karma's a bitch, eh?

19) What does your URL mean?
I don't know, all I can think of was how people I know will never find it.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
Greatest weakness - I'm not the one who can fall in love easily... What a shame. But I do want to feel of falling in love.
Greatest strength - I hide my emotions very well...

21) Who is your celebrity crush?
One Direction, Gillian Zinser, Sky Ferreira and Taissa Farmiga at the moment.

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Never but would love to try one day.

23) How do you vent your anger?
I talk to myself and then listen to some songs.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?
I collect resits...and magazines...

25) Do you perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
I don't know. Both but I much prefer texting.

26) Are you happy with the person you've become?
Not much but I have my moments.

27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
Hate - screaming, buffering sounds.
Love - rain, music, people's whispers, guitar, Bon Iver's voice, anything that can get me to sleep.

28) What's your biggest "what if"?
What if I die right now?

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
I guess I believe a bit in ghosts but not in aliens.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
Pillows!

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
I don't know, air? The smell of my brothers' room.

32) What's the weather like right now?
It's not so hot yet not so cold.

33) Do you have any nicknames?
Qills? But nobody calls me that...

34) What was the last movie you saw?
Sleepers. Brad Pitt was hot back then.

35) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
I don't know, my past injuries were not that bad.

36) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
Never...

37) Do you have any obsessions right now?
One Direction!

38) What's your sexual orientation?
Straight but I'll go lesbian anytime for Zooey Deschanel, Katy Perry, Emily Browning, Sky Ferreira and Taissa Farmiga.

39) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
Yup but that's very rare.

40) What is your astrological sign?
Aries!

41) Do you save money or spend it?
I like to save but then I'll spend it afterwards...

42) What's the last thing you purchased?
Heat magazines!

43) Love or lust?
I want to fall in love so bad that it hurts. But right now, I prefer lust.

44) In a relationship?
Yes, I am but I'm not happy.

45) How many relationships have you had?
About 4 and a few flings with the same guy.

46) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
Nope, I can't.

47) Where were you yesterday?
Out, with my friends.

48) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Yes, my sister's pillow.

49) Are you wearing socks right now?
No.

50) Spit or swallow?
Ew, neither.

51) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
I was reading a fanfic on my phone while watching The Thing and all I can say is The Thing was such a bore. Don't watch that movie.

52) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
I guess so, but then no.

53) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
Ask people for help since I'm a Muslim and I can't touch dogs, so...

54) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
a - I'll tell my family, close friends and cousins.
b - I'll be doing a lot of prayers and live the life but not too much.
c - Yes! I'll be pissing my pants.

55) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.
I prefer trust. Love hurts, so bad.

56) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
One Direction's!

57) How can I win your heart?
Love me for who I am, make me laugh, do silly things with me, have a good taste in music and fashion, love cats and be yourself.

58) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
I think so...

59) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.
Love.

60) What is your current desktop picture?
A scenery.

61) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
"Who do you love?"

62) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Run away, fast!

63) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
Fly, invincible, read minds and forever young.

64) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
When I was small where everything doesn't matter and to me, everything was fine and happy.

65) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
A lot, and I'm not going to mention it here...

66) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
I'm torn between Italy, United Kingdom, France and Mecca/Medina.

67) Have you ever thrown up in the car?
Never, thank god.

68) Ever been on a plane?
Yes.

fader

2011-12-30T14:13:00.000-08:00

Hi. So here goes nothing...

I somewhat hate my family. It's like every time we had an argument, I'm the one to blame. It is as if they're picking on me, every one of them. I'm fucking sick and tired of it. Everything that I do, is completely wrong. I bought clothes, wrong. I swept the floor, wrong, I eat something, wrong. If everything I do, ended up wrong, why am I even alive? You guys could just do an abortion while I was still in my mom's tummy. I don't care if it's killing me, cause at the end, everyone's happy.

I hate my sister, she'a a fucking hypocrite.

I hate how my mum doesn't understand me.

I hate how my dad raises his voice and every time my brother is upset, I'm the one to blame.

I hate how my brother ignores me.

I hate how my other brother is selfish.

I hate myself. I doesn't see why am I still alive and still walking on earth today.

I should kill myself.
I see no harm in it.
So, why not?

Yours truly. x

Ps, anyone who's reading this, you're beautiful and I'm not.

frightened

2011-12-29T02:09:00.000-08:00

I want to write, to express but I'm just too lazy.

So till next time!

house of balloons

2011-12-26T20:29:00.000-08:00

Hate to say this but it's true. Somehow, I want myself to be skinny. Just like those pretty girls. Tried to starve all day but meh, I found myself eating chocolates, pizzas, cakes, Nando's and much this week. I just want to be skinny, is that really bad? I mean, it's hard, how all the pretty ones/skinny girls get to be pretty and beautiful all the time. Bullshit, when's my time?

Ugh. I did not expect myself to be this quite shallow, but I feel the need of being like the pretty ones, just for one day.

I don't care.

Oh and I know it's late but merry christmas. Hoe hoe hoe! Though I don't celebrate christmas but the spirit is still there.

Goodbye.

Yours truly. x

Ps, you are beautiful, not me.

Pss, I've been listening to The Weeknd, awfully a lot. I don't understand how could I not discover him a long time ago.

she shoots, she scores

2011-12-22T14:33:00.000-08:00

First of all, I am blessed! Alhamdulillah. I got my results today and I passed, with all A's. Fuck yeah! My dad asked me what do I want for this success, all I want is to travel around Europe but a bit much, no? I don't know. I'm just happy.

Yours truly. x

Ps, you are beautiful, each and every one of you!

shelter

2011-12-22T00:07:00.000-08:00

I find scars, interesting. Even cutting yourself and those blood dripping, even make it more interesting. There's a story behind every scars you made. I feel the need of knowing every mystery of it. I tried to cut myself last time....but I didn't. I was scared. Scared of everything. Scared because of the pain that I might be going through, might be more painful than the pain that I was having before. I didn't know if cutting myself was even worth it. So I ended up putting back that sharp-like-knife object where it belonged and listen to some mellow songs and cry my heart out.

I just realized how brave every one of you who cut yourself. You got hurt and you still cut yourself, leaving more pain to yourself that you ever were. You feel the need of cutting yourself because maybe you think that you're not good enough for the society today. Well, you know what? Fuck the society. I'm tired of pleasing the society today. I'm tired of being someone else. I'm tired of people who got bullied because they're not worth it, a loser, fat, ugly, weird. I'm tired of the society today. I'm tired of how hypocrite a person can be, acting as if you hate the society, but then you still judge people. Fuck you. I'm tired of those outcast who got left out because they're just not good enough for your standard. Fuck this.

When I grow up, I'll fucking try my best to change the society today instead of blogging this shit that's probably not even worth to be called as shit. I'll fucking try. Just look for me, world.

Ps, next time when I update my blog, I'm going to find out my pmr results. Which is like SAT or IGCSE but for the younger ones. I'm scared. Dad said I should accept it no matter what. I'm glad that he understands me.

And, you are beautiful!

Yours truly. x

moments

2011-12-21T00:16:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to show my face and I failed it. Seriously, this lappy's webcam is somewhat broke, thanks, dad. And instead, I'm using this crappy webcam. Ugh. Fucking no quality. Then, I just edited this shit. Wow, I am that ugly, even if I'm using photoshop, I'll still end up ugly as ever.

So kids, lesson number 1, I'm ulgy. Lesson number 2, you're beautiful. Lesson number 3, fuck this shit.

Yours truly. x

dreams?

2011-12-20T00:19:00.000-08:00

I'm actually struggling here. I don't want to let go of 2011, not yet! I did nothing this year! Nothing that excites me. Just another boring year. Fuck, I hate my life. But yet I'm blessed that Allah still gives me the chance to still have to ability to walk on this planet. Nevertheless, my little brother asked me, do I have any dreams of my own to come true? I quickly answered yes, without any hesitation. I mean, if I were ever given the chance to have my dreams to come true, I will take it!

First, I want Allah to give me the guidance for me to bring me on the right path.

Second, I want my parents to be rich but yet still humble. I want them to have a good life and can still pay the bills and so on.

Third, I want to travel the world.

Fourth, I want to meet my favourite artists and bands!

Fifth, I want to go to every concert of my favourite bands.

Sixth, I want to be pretty, beautiful, strong, smart and confident. And tall!

Seventh, I want to build a time machine.

Eight, I want the world to have it's own peace.

Ninth, I want the society today to be judgmental-less.

Tenth, I want to go to Heaven.

That is all I can think of right now. Pathetic am I? But I just want to live a good life, not only for me, but everyone else too! O I wish I have the powers to, but then again no. I'm just another human being, a God's creation. Masha'Allah.

Yours truly. x

Ps, you are beautiful!

x

2011-12-18T18:05:00.000-08:00

My newest guilty pleasure.

shiver

2011-12-17T02:54:00.000-08:00

I'm scared. And nervous. I feel like vomiting...

charmed

2011-12-16T02:13:00.000-08:00

You want to know what hurts? To know that your bestfriend is hurting. Emotionally. To know that she cried and cried and being all hopeless. I just want to give her a hug, that's all. It's not her fault. Never was, I think. But she thinks of her, being the cause of a problem. That just made my heart sunk. I love her. I want her to know that everything is going to be okay. And what Jessie J said is true, "It's okay not to be okay."

I've been there or still am. Crying. Just thinking that I'm just another mistake. I never deserve to live. Never deserve to be someone's or someone's daughter or friend or sister. It's hard for me to know that my friend is kinda having the same situation as me but never know that I'm also feeling the same way. I'm just embarrassed. I don't want people to know that I'm that fragile girl. Sensitive. Weak. Afraid.

I just want to be strong and fearless. It's funny how people said that those who had a break down and still put a smile the day after is strong. I'm a lot similar to that. Always tried to hide my emotions, silly emotions that probably no one would even care of. I don't think myself as a strong person. I'm weak. Never really born as strong. I just like to keep it to myself and let it out on a stupid blog and delete it afterwards, or just save it as a draft. I guess that's how I deal with my feelings but I don't know. I'm just a silly girl. That's all I am. A weak, silly girl.

Ps, whoever is reading this, you are beautiful!

Yours truly. x

lies

2011-12-15T01:26:00.000-08:00

Is it weird, how I'm a girl and I never own a skirt...? I do but that is when I was still a girl, but now, I'm in between a girl and a lady, who owns only pants.

nobody knows

2011-12-14T00:35:00.000-08:00

Am I that fucking invisible?

Even on the internet, I am that fucking invisible.

stop trying

2011-12-13T01:57:00.000-08:00

Hello!

It's about 1AM right now. Just updating this blog, stating to people that I'm still alive, thank god and still living my shitty life and that's about it. I can't remember a thing that's memorable enough for 2011 except when Liam and Niall followed me on twitter... Other than that, none! I'm just wasting my life. It's like I'm not living, not alive, not vibrant, not active. What have I done during this holiday? Nothing. God, I am that boring. I wish I could be more fun though. Just travelling the world and not give a fuck about anything. But I did got to finished about 4 books, yay me! I'm currently reading The Half Life Of Star. I bought when I was 13, about 2 years past. And now I'm starting to read it, wow I am that late. I need to finish all the books I've bought before 2012. Doubt that it's going to happen though. Well I've been reading fanfics. I guess that's how my life rolls then, in the morning, reading novels, by night, reading fanfics, in between, tumblr-ing. God. I wish my life was more interesting than this. But at least I got to stay at home where my comfy bed is. Whenever I'm at other place, I wish I was at home. And when I'm at home, I wish I was other place, but most of the time, home.

I wish my life was better than this. I wish I was a different person. I wish I can turn back time. Never mind, none of that will never come true, obviously. Wishing that I still got to spend the last few days before 2012 kicks in, with the loved ones. I'm already hating 2012 as much as I hate 2011 when 2010 was at the end. Fuck, I wish I have this remote control just like from Click, and just skipped this chapter and quickly forward 2 years time, when I was done being a 17-year old teenage girl. O how I wish!

Hey, I've been trying to write this one fanfic titled The Roommate. And no, it's not like the movies where a psycho is obsessed with her roommate, oh no. I just want to write a kinda like chick-lit kinda story, just for the fun, but I still don't know whether should I proceed with it or not. I mean, it's not as good as the novels, it sucks, hard! I'm not that good of a writer but I'll try, hence I'm reading novels, to enhance my writing skills. I've already planned the plot and all, like seriously, I talked to myself how it's going to end and all but then I still don't know how to interpret it into beautiful words... When I tried to continue writing, it turns out stupid...like an amateur but then I am... But I want to be recognized as the girl who can write. I guess I was, and I am trying too hard then. God, why wasn't I born as Nicholas Sparks or Dorothy Koomson? ...I guess God have His own reasons but maybe me, as a writer, is not in His plan then.

I just hope that one day I have the courage to......... Ah nevermind.

Yours truly. x

Ps, whoever is reading this, you are beautiful!

stay there

2011-12-11T00:10:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry that you fell in love with the wrong person.

(me)

Sorry.

nothing like you and i

2011-12-10T03:40:00.000-08:00

I'm tired. Tired of waiting. Waiting for something that I probably won't know. I can't admit it to myself about this thing. Let alone, to tell another person. I'm such a mess, I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself. Yada yada yada fast forward to 5 years later, I'll end up as the girl who doesn't have anyone except herself and no boys will even get near me.

I'll end up, growing old on my own, alone...

Yours truly. x

all i see scares me

2011-12-09T00:02:00.000-08:00

How could you? I thought you were sincere but fuck no.

I hate how you lied to me...and I just found out today.

taken

2011-12-08T02:16:00.000-08:00

Listening to One Direction right now...

Hello, readers (if there is anyone who actually read this blog). I have found myself a new guilty pleasure. 3 words - American Horror Story. Not exactly a guilty pleasure, but more to a new favourite show. It's so distracting but so good at the same time. I actually dig Tate - probably the cutest/sweetest ghost ever.

Nonetheless. I'm bored... I still can't believe I have school next year. O why?! I'm so envy with those 17 year-olds who finished their spm. 2 more years. 2 more freaking years. But....I still don't know if I'm still alive by 2013. Woops. I shouldn't say that, no bueno.

I don't know what to write anymore...
My brain somewhat stops thinking at this very moment...

Yours truly. x

Ps, you are beautiful in your own way.

you have been loved

2011-12-06T23:42:00.000-08:00

Casually listening to Sia on a Tuesday night.

i heard that you like the bad girls

2011-12-06T00:29:00.000-08:00

I haven't stated my December wish.

I wish I pass my pmr with all A's.
I wish I can be a better person, daughter, friend before 2012 starts.
I wish I was skinnier.
I wish I was prettier.
I wish I can get what I want.
I wish I can turn back time.
I wish I was smarter.
I wish I was fearless.
I wish I was taller.
I wish I was cooler.
I wish I can die when I was a baby.
I wish I can start over.

And the list would go on and on and on...

i can't be your friend

2011-12-05T02:59:00.000-08:00

Hello! I'm casually sitting on a chair, updating my blog (stating the obvious). Well, truth to be told, this is my 4th blog, actually. I know, what?! I tend to like to start things over but never really given the chance to finish it. I tend to let things hang, just like that. But never let it go. Still, holding it. I guess, I just learn a few things about moi. Bra-freaking-vo.

Since it's December now....oh heck, I hate my life. We're so near to 2012. God no. I don't want to let go of 2011, not quite yet. I still remember during January, when I stated how much I hate 2011, and just wanna go back to 2010. It amuses me to see how much liking I have towards 2011 today. I just wish I could turn back time and relive every moment, wait....not every, but some. Mum told me how she doesn't want me to go anywhere during 2012, she said, bad things are upon us, I did told her how I must not come to school then if she thought of that haha. But really, I'm scared of the future. I don't want to grow older.... I'm just freaking scared. I'm nervous. Scared and nervous at the same time. 27 days more to go, and I am not ready for any of it. Help me... Anyone?

Yours truly. x

Ps, you're beautiful.

it's always you

2011-12-05T02:32:00.000-08:00

Hello, December!

bonjour et s'il vous plaît de vous rencontrer

2011-11-29T04:14:00.000-08:00

To anybody who's reading my utterly lame blog, hello! :-)

I'll start off with a bit about myself. I'm Syaza and I'm only 15 this year. I'm obviously a girl. But actually a wolf in disguise, I wish. I love to read, anything, from novels to fanfics. I adore every one of them. I'm actually quite short but born with such blessings in life that I wish I could be grateful for everything... I love going out, especially during nights! Even though, myself seldom go out and hang from dawn until the sun rises. But the feeling of it, when your adrenaline rushes through your blood where you feel you can do anything. But I hate ghosts... Therefore, I only go out during night, as in 2 or 3AM with only my family. I could be really weird sometimes, but such different in my own way but still, not in a good way, much rather as in a bad way. I get jealous such in ease. Not as in jealous as if my 'boyfriend' is talking to a whore or something, that would be a different story then. I get jealous so easily as in, someone's life, or how perfect their face, or even how loved he/she is etc. I'm quite an easy temper. You do not really want to mess with me, serious. But still, I'm as fragile as a glass could be. I'm quite sensitive, I supposed but I usually don't come clean with anybody about my feelings, but I do sometimes creep on someone's tumblr and ask anonymously for an advice or two.

Well, right now, I still don't know what to do with my life. I haven't gotten the idea of me, being all grown up and have a career on my own - a writer? A poet? A photographer? A doctor? A pianist? An artist? Be in a band? A composer? A producer? A director? Etc. These things come to my mind, not always. I've been thinking of being a director. Even though, I don't even edit any videos in my whole life, let alone directing one. But my mind always goes to, a video full of pictures or music video with only scenery at the background. I want to capture things in life, that need to be appreciate. I would love to take a picture of a flower itself just to make sure how it's beauty can be shown just through a picture, but again, I do not own a camera, except my sister do but she won't let me use it on my own. Thanks, mate. Anyhow, would kill to be a magazine editor. Or even create a new magazine line on my own. Hey, that'll be lovely. All about three things that I love - fashion, fiction and boys! O heaven!

Nonetheless, I'm still oblivious about anything in this world or so called life. I'm still new to this thing. Hey, I still watch cartoons, what do you expect from me? Even though, I'm not born as the pretty ones, nor the ones with the hot bod. But hey, I was born with such good ears. What I meant, is that, my love towards music. As an example, I love Angus & Julia Stone, Bon Iver and even One Direction. My type of music is open to all genres. I would love to meet Angus Stone himself and ask him to sing me, Big Jet Plane. O how I wish! ......I actually kinda attracted to musicians. If you can play any instruments and sing at the same time, just call me up anytime you want. I do not play any instruments on my own, but there's one secret I could tell, in public, I can actually, sorta kinda sing. I'm not complimenting myself, but there's time when I think I'm good at singing but I can't reach those high notes, or maybe, I could? But I was never given the chance to? Maybe? Maybe not.

I still want to learn to see life in a whole new angle... I wish I could see everything and everyone's beauty in it's on way. But like I said, I'm only 15, what do you expect from a 15 year-old girl? ............nothing? I thought so too. With this, I end this post with a bid of farewell to anyone who's reading. Yours truly. x

Ps, whoever is reading this, don't forget, you're beautiful in your own way.
Pss, if you're my sister and you just read the whole fucking post, well congratulations on finding my blog!